Frequently Asked
Questions

I'm 57 and the kind of guy who showed up to a steampunk burlesque show in leather booty shorts and a floor-length leather trench coat and felt completely at home. I ride motorcycles, sing, play piano, DJ, and salsa dance… and will absolutely fix your sink just because you mentioned it needs fixing. Not for points. Just because taking care of people is kind of my love language.

I don't always have the perfect words for what I'm feeling. But I show up. Usually in something memorable.

I'm based in Boulder, but don't let that fool you, I'm not the guy summiting peaks before breakfast or mountain biking to work. I'm more likely to be in Denver chasing live music and a good salsa floor. If you're anywhere in the Front Range: Denver, Golden, Loveland, anywhere in between, I'm absolutely willing to make the drive. I just ask that it goes both ways sometimes.

Long distance is a hard pass for me. Life's too short to fall for someone you only see on a screen. But if you happen to be visiting Boulder and we hit it off? Well. That's a different conversation entirely.

I run the front of house at a local music venue, which is my favorite job I've ever had. My role is basically making sure everyone, staff, artists, patrons, is having the best possible night. I thrive in that kind of beautiful chaos. I also do property management, which keeps the lights on and then some.

I'm in a good place. Stable, unburdened, and still building.

I also did a previous chapter in uniform, which might surprise you given that I'm pretty liberal.

His name is Phinneas. He's a Mi-Ki, weighs 7 pounds, and has approximately the personality of someone who knows exactly how cute he is. He loves people, plays hard, and snuggles harder. He's also hypoallergenic, which I mention only because it tends to come up.

Every night around bedtime he starts watching me. When I ask if he's ready for bed, he sprints to the couch, jumps up, climbs to the back, and waits to be carried to bed. He has done this every night for almost 10 years. The blanket he's slept with since he was a puppy is waiting for him every night, and honestly, I think that's the real reason he gets so excited.

If you're not a dog person, we can still be friends.

Probably dinner and drinks, or tacos and margaritas depending on how we feel. I'm not a morning coffee date kind of guy, if we're going to figure out if we have chemistry, let's actually give it a real shot.

I will say though that the best first dates I've been on didn't end at dinner. One ended with us walking over to Dave and Busters and playing games for an hour. Another ended with us dancing the night away (ok, technically the dates didn't end there but that's a different story…). The best dates are where the conversation is great, neither of us wants it to stop, and neither wants to be the one who calls it a night.

Chemistry. I've dated women who looked perfect on paper, we liked the same things, the conversation was easy, even the physical connection was good, but something just wasn't there. And that missing something is always chemistry, but it seems like it's either there or it's not.

When it is there, it feels like that same joy you get when puzzle pieces easily fall into place. The witty banter flows back and forth without effort. We're laughing, thinking alike, genuinely curious about each other. There are moments where we're smiling, laughing, and looking each other in the eyes and silently asking the same question: are you the one I've been looking for?

So that's what I'm looking for. Beyond the chemistry, she's easy going, affectionate, kind, and gives as much as she receives. She enjoys nights in just snuggling on the couch as much as the nights where we go out dancing. And she's not afraid to let me know she's interested.

Honestly, I don't have a long list. But here are the ones that matter.

Be kind. Not just to me, but to the server, the stranger, the random person you meet who can't do anything for you. It matters more than almost anything else.

Don't lie to me or manipulate me. I'm trusting enough that you could probably get away with it for a while. Please don't.

We need to share core values, and I mean that specifically. If you know who I'm talking about without me saying his name, and you're a fan, we're not a match. No hard feelings.

As for young kids, it depends on where things go. Casually? We can figure it out. Seriously, like building-a-life seriously? That's a longer conversation worth having early.

Yes. But let me be honest about what that means.

I don't always recognize my emotions in real time. They can be a moving target that I'm still figuring out. What I can promise is that I won't hide from them, I won't shut you out, and I will always try to talk through whatever is happening, even when I don't have the right words yet.

I'm honest to a fault, and that includes my feelings. I'll show up for the hard conversations. I just ask that you don't expect me to have all the answers, the same way I won't expect that from you.

This is not a bit.

I'm a texter and I respond quickly. Fair warning though: I can be rather verbose (but maybe you already know that by reading through my site… lol). If you get a wall of text from me it means I'm engaged, not overwhelming you. At least that's what I tell myself.

I'd rather talk in person than any other way. Texts are great, phone calls work, but nothing beats actually being in the same room.

Conflict is an area I'm still working on. I'm conflict avoidant by nature, not because I don't care, but because somewhere along the way I learned to associate conflict with things falling apart. That being said, I am very willing to confront any conflict and work through it even if that's not my first instinct. But once I recognize what's going on I will work through it with my partner.

The honest answer is that I'm not going to put a label on it before we even meet. I'm open to wherever things go naturally. What I know for certain is that I'm not interested in something that goes nowhere forever. Ultimately, I want a partner, someone to build a life with, travel with, come home to. Whether we get there quickly or slowly is less important than getting there with the right person.

If it turns out we're better as friends who also happen to have a really good time together, then that's ok too. But my heart is set on the real thing.

Honestly? I got tired of letting an algorithm decide who I should meet. Dating apps reduce people to a photo and a few bullet points, and the matching is basically a slot machine. I know there's a better way.

So I built this. A place my friends can share if they think we'd be a match. An easy to remember link I can drop into a conversation, half joking, half serious, and let you decide if you want to know more. No pressure, no swiping, no algorithm. Just me, putting myself out there in the most ridiculous and sincere way I know how.

Full disclosure: I used Claude Code to build the site because I have absolutely no idea how to build a website. But the actual content and words are 100% me.

If you're reading this, it worked.

Aisle. My knees aren't getting any younger and I refuse to climb over strangers to use the bathroom. I used to be a window seat romantic. Then I turned 50.

Karl has a hard time crying in general. Sorry but I blame my upbringing. That being said, I actually am very emotional during movies and will tear up at the slightest sad scene.

Flirty messages definitely get my attention. I like a woman who knows what she wants, especially when what she wants is me. 😉 And a good picture never hurts. 🤷